The other day my wife asked me to buy her something to make her look nice so I went to the liquor store.
How do you castrate a priest?
Kick the alter boy in the back of the head.
When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss. “Just pop it in the corner,” he said.
After 3 hours of popping I’ve now been fired :(!
Did you know that 85% of pie charts resemble Pacman?
Q. What’s long, black and dangerous?
A. The queue at KFC.