My Doctor has advised me to start running. I’m not ill or anything, I’ve just been sleeping with his wife.
A traffic warden tried to give me a ticket today for parking in a disabled space.
I said “Why don’t you go f*ck yourself you c*nt, I’ve got Tourettes”.
Yo mama is so ugly she can’t even attract mosquitos!
How do you castrate a priest?
Kick the alter boy in the back of the head.
I remember being told that every-time you shave it off, it grows back thicker.
Can’t wait to see my new cock.
The other day my wife asked me to buy her something to make her look nice so I went to the liquor store.