Got stopped by a women in the street today. She said “Excuse me sir, have you had an accident in the last 3 years that wasn’t your fault? I said, “Yes, she’s nearly 3 now.”
Just bought a chinchilla. That should hopefully keep my chin nice and cool in all this heat.
What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs? A clit round the ear and a flap across the face.
A traffic warden tried to give me a ticket today for parking in a disabled space.
I said “Why don’t you go f*ck yourself you c*nt, I’ve got Tourettes”.
Yo mama is so ugly she can’t even attract mosquitos!
You can’t spell advertisements without semen between the tits.