I had a wet dreem about someone who looked just like you last night. I pissed myself laughing when I hit you with a car.
My friend rang me and asked, “What’re you doing at the moment?”
I said, “Probably failing my driving test.”
Recently found out I’m allergic to cats. That’s the last time I eat at a Chinese restaurant.
People who say they’ve lost their voice are lying.
Two interesting facts about me.
1) My testicles are the same size as 2 Chicken McNuggets.
2) I’m banned from McDonalds.
Yo mama is so fat her belt size is equator.