People who say they’ve lost their voice are lying.
Two interesting facts about me.
1) My testicles are the same size as 2 Chicken McNuggets.
2) I’m banned from McDonalds.
Yo mama is so fat her belt size is equator.
Went on a date with a girl and I told her to text me when she got home. It’s been 3 weeks now and I still haven’t got a text, I think she must be homeless.
Why is Santa Claus a heavy drinker? Because he only empties his sack once a year.
My granddad died peacefully in his sleep last night. Unfortunately the passengers on his bus all died screaming.