Why is Santa Claus a heavy drinker? Because he only empties his sack once a year.
My granddad died peacefully in his sleep last night. Unfortunately the passengers on his bus all died screaming.
Q. How do you start a rave in Africa?
A. Glue toast to the ceiling.
Found out recently that my wife had an affair with a midget.
I can’t believe she would stoop so low.
Went to the doctors today to get a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine I don’t need one.
Yo Mama’s so fat that when god said let there be light, he told yo mama to move.