Q. How do you start a rave in Africa?
A. Glue toast to the ceiling.
Went to the doctors today to get a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine I don’t need one.
Found out recently that my wife had an affair with a midget.
I can’t believe she would stoop so low.
Just had the following conversation after getting pulled over by a cop.
Cop: Do you know how fast you were going? Me: I was just keeping up with the traffic. Cop: There is no traffic! Me: I know, that’s how far behind I am.
I got my wife a get better soon card. She’s not ill or anything but she could definitely get better.
My psychologist told me not to keep things bottled up so I went home and drank all my wine.