I took a girl home the other night and while things were heating up I was hopelessly fumbling around trying to unclip her bra.
“Is this your first time?” She asked. “No, you’re just the first one with with tits.”
They call me the fireman because I turn on all the hose.
How do you kill a hundred flies in one hit? Hit a African child with a shovel!
If money is the root of all evil why do they always ask for it in church?
The fear of people to your right is dextrophobia. The fear of having people to your left is anthropophobia. And the fear of having people behind you is homophobia.
Just poured superglue into a non-stick pan…. Somebody is going to be wrong.