Can’t believe how long my wife and kids spend on eBay. It’s been weeks and still nobody has made a bid for them.
Can’t believe how much doctors lie. Last year I went to hospital to get a vasectomy to stop my wife getting pregnant but it turns out all it does is change the color of the baby.
A recent study has found that women who carry a bit of extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Man: “Hi there!” Woman: “Sorry I have a boyfriend.” Man: “I said hi, not suck my dick!!”
How many Africans does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
Six: one to screw it in and five to dance for no reason.
Why is a good glass of milk like a good women?
Because the best ones are white and 2% fat.