After feeling a bit suicidal I called the Islamic Samaritans earlier today. They seemed really nice and even offered to give me flying lessons free of charge.
Just recently ended a 5 year relationship. It’s OK though, it wasn’t my relationship.
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” is an awesome phrase.
But it’s a horrible way to find out you’re adopted. 🙁
Men wake up erect and women wake up yawning…coincidence? I think not.
The following conversation took place in a library.
Customer: Do you have a book on Tourette’s symdrome? Librarian : F*ck off you c*nt! Customer: Yes, that’s the one!
Earlier today I swallowed two pieces of string and they came out tied together. I shit you knot.