Last week my mother-in-law fell into a wishing well, can’t believe it actually worked.
Accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick. She’s still not talking to me.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Can’t believe how cheap everything is on Black Friday, feels like I’m stealing. I guess that’s how the day got its name.
Yo mama is so ugly when she went to the zoo people kept trying to feed her.
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up