Hi, wanna be my girlfrien?
I didn’t put the ‘d’ because you’ll get that later.
Accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick. She’s still not talking to me.
Technically speaking, Moses was the first person with a tablet downloading data from the cloud.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
I love how all these vegans still drink water. That’s a fishes house you disgusting savages.
Can’t believe how weird my wife is. Every time we have a conversation she always starts with “Did you hear what I just said?”