Just been fired from my new job at the bank.
An old lady asked me to check her balance so I jumped on her back.
Why do some people think it’s cute when lovers carve their names into a tree? I personally think taking a knife on a date is a bit creepy.
Men who say that a woman’s place is in the kitchen are making a big mistake, that’s where the knives are kept.
Hypocrisy – When a Jehovahs Witness doesn’t celebrate Halloween because they don’t like random people knocking on their doors.
Technically speaking, Moses was the first person with a tablet downloading data from the cloud.
Just had the following conversation with my doctor after getting a health check.
Doctor: Don’t eat anything fatty Me: What? You mean like bacon or burgers? Doctor: No fatty!! Don’t eat anything.