Wife asked me to knock something up in the kitchen… the housemaid is now pregnant.
There are four stages in life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
Read in the newspaper today that the police are looking for a racist attacker. I called them up to ask how much money they were offering but apparently it wasn’t a job advertisement.
Just been fired from my new job at the bank.
An old lady asked me to check her balance so I jumped on her back.
Why do some people think it’s cute when lovers carve their names into a tree? I personally think taking a knife on a date is a bit creepy.
Hypocrisy – When a Jehovahs Witness doesn’t celebrate Halloween because they don’t like random people knocking on their doors.