Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Dwarf

in Disabled Jokes
+110 -72

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift but he told me to “f*ck off”. In the end I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

Best chat up line

in Pick Up Lines
+110 -72

Q. How much does a polar bear weigh?

A. I don’t know

R. Neither do I but it broke the ice

Kitchen

in Dirty Jokes
+81 -43

Wife asked me to knock something up in the kitchen… the housemaid is now pregnant.

Stages of Life

in General Jokes
+54 -16

There are four stages in life:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

Doctor

in Dirty Jokes
+64 -26

Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”

He winked at me and said “Well, I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park.”

Library

in Dirty Jokes
+77 -39

The following conversation took place in a library.

Customer: Hi, I’m looking for the new book by Dr Schultz about small penises.
Librarian: Sorry, I don’t think it’s in yet.
Customer: Yes, that’s the one!!