There are four stages in life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”
He winked at me and said “Well, I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park.”
The following conversation took place in a library.
Customer: Hi, I’m looking for the new book by Dr Schultz about small penises. Librarian: Sorry, I don’t think it’s in yet. Customer: Yes, that’s the one!!
Had a strange dream last night where I ate a gigantic marshmallow. When i woke up my pillow was missing.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking heavily at the moment and allowing their wives to drive.
Man: Do you shower after you have sex? Woman: Yes of course. Man: Well maybe you should have sex more often.