Can’t believe how nice some people are. Got a compliment today about my driving. Someone left a message on my wind-shield that said ‘parking fine’.
Man: Hi, I bet i can guess your age by feeling your boobs!! Woman: Really?? Go on then. Man: *FEEL BOOBS FOR 30 SECONDS* My guess is that you were born yesterday.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
I went to the doctors today to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up.
If I had parkinson’s disease, I’d glue my hand to my cock!
Had a strange dream last night where I ate a gigantic marshmallow. When i woke up my pillow was missing.