Four secrets of a happy marriage.
1. Find a woman who can cook and clean. 2. Find a woman who is an animal in bed. 3. Find a woman with lots of money. 4. Make sure none of these 3 women ever meet each-other.
When I was a kid my dad used to beat me with his camera, I still have flash-backs.
Girlfriend just accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
If you had the choice between being as rich as Bill Gates or having world peace, what color Lamborghini would you buy?
When God created the world he made everyone different but he became tired when he got to the Chinese.
Had a beard growing competition over the weekend with one of my Indian friends from work. She won.