Whatever you do always give 100%, unless your donating blood.
When you have a fat friend at school see-saws no longer exist, only catapults.
Four secrets of a happy marriage.
1. Find a woman who can cook and clean. 2. Find a woman who is an animal in bed. 3. Find a woman with lots of money. 4. Make sure none of these 3 women ever meet each-other.
When God created the world he made everyone different but he became tired when he got to the Chinese.
Had a beard growing competition over the weekend with one of my Indian friends from work. She won.
Spoke to my family today after my WiFi went down. They seem like nice people.