Granddad finally came out of a coma last night. He’s now dead.
Don’t you just hate it when your clothes mysteriously vanish and you get arrested for being half-naked in public. That’s the last time I ever wear Bermuda shorts again.
Did you hear about the gay midget? He finally came out the closet.
Q. What’s the worst thing about elections?
A. There’s always some cunt who wins.
Hi, can you come to my house tonight and help put my Christmas Tree up? I want it in my bedroom.
Why did Mohammed cross the road? Because he’s a really great guy and was doing some important charity work.