Q. How do you turn your bath into a Jacuzzi for under $1? A. Eat lots of beans.
Charles Darwin was wrong we’re nothing like monkeys. I wish he was around now so I could throw my feces in his face.
Whats white and swings from tree to tree?
A spunkey
Me and my wife have a difficult relationship. She’s a really cold person. She’s so cold that her side of the waterbed often freezes.
Yo mama is so stupid she wiped her ass before she took a sh*t.
Just spend an hour waxing the car. It’s amazing how many dog hairs you can remove from the seats.