Just found a dead Native American and a load of buffalo skins in my kitchen. That’s the last time I hire cowboy builders.
Do you believe in reincarnation?? When I come back I want to be reincarnated as your bicycle seat.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a Catholic priest standing next to it.
Me and my wife have a difficult relationship. She’s a really cold person. She’s so cold that her side of the waterbed often freezes.
Yo mama is so stupid she wiped her ass before she took a sh*t.
Just spend an hour waxing the car. It’s amazing how many dog hairs you can remove from the seats.