Yo mama is so dirty the only reason she wears underwear is to keep her ankles warm.
Brr, its cold today! Can I warm my hands with your heaving breasts?
Got a valentines card from my Grandma earlier today which was sweet but unnecessary, we haven’t had sex in years.
Just been rejected by my bank for a loan. Apparently they only give money to people who already have lots of money.
You look so good, you’re making my man-bits rise from the dead.
Just failed my driving test. Apparently when then instructor said “Wait till I hit my dashboard” he wasn’t talking about his face.