Last night I saw my sexy neighbour through the curtains masterbaiting with a telescope I ordered from Amazon… Looks like they delivered it to the wrong address. Gonna have to order a new one now 🙁 !
Hi, me and my friend were just talking and he wondered if you think I’m cute.
Went to the supermarket today to find a candle holder but they didn’t have one so I decided to buy a cake instead.
According to my Samsung phone my ‘morning run’ has been changed to ‘morning rum’. Sounds good to me.
My cooking is awful.
Does anyone know how much vodka you’re supposed to add to cheese-on-toast?
Your face makes onions cry.