Man: Is this seat taken? Woman: Yeah, my boyfriend is sitting there. Man: Really? Well he must be really small then.
Just be arrested for indecency at my local homeless shelter after trying to help them cook Christmas dinner. Apparently they told me to PLUCK the turkey.
Hi how’s it going? I’ve got Alzheimer’s… Are you my girlfriend?
Just got sacked from my job at the daycare center. Apparently ‘Schindler’s List’ is an inappropriate film for a 5 year old’s birthday party.
Went shopping earlier today and got my wife something for her vaggina as a Christmas present, it’s called ‘DE-ICER’.
Fat lives matter as well you know. Please open the Goddamn buffet!