Q. Why did the two year old Ethiopian boy cry? A. He was going through a mid life crisis.
Most people think that when you find a discarded coin in your house it got there by accident but I actually think it was brought there by spiders trying to pay you rent.
Q. What do women and 0% APR loans have in common? A. They both have extremely complicated terms and they both keep saying they have no interest.
Yo mama is so fat that she has to change the light bulb in her fridge every month.
Q. What do sex and art have in common? A. Most of it is shit and all the good stuff is way too expensive.
Wow, you’re so good looking I wish I’d taken a shower this morning.