Hi, is your dad Irish because my c*ck is Dublin.
Q. What do women and hemophiliacs have in common? A. They both suffer from uncontrollable bleeding and they both get angry when this happens.
Wow you’re really attractive, I bet if you went missing the police would spend ages looking for you.
Q. What’s the difference between hard and dark? A. It stays dark all night.
What does a Mexican put under his carpets?
Underlay!
Asda have now recalled their Jimmy Saville advent calendars due to a fault. The flaps don’t open past 16.