Mexicans have been complaining recently about Trumps wall, they really need to get over it.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
Got attacked by a group of mime artists last night. They did unspeakable acts to me.
Apparently when someone messages you a picture of their new baby it’s offensive to send a message back saying “Better luck next time”!
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Husband: Honey, can you smell that? Wife: No. Husband: Exactly I can’t either so get in the kitchen and start cooking.
Scientists claim its impossible to fold a piece of paper 8 times. They’ve obviously never seen me wiping my ass when there is only 1 sheet of toilet paper left.