My girlfriend had her teeth whitened the other day. Well actually most of it went on her chin.
Why is Friday the most feminine day of the week?
Because it takes forever to come.
Yo mama is so stupid when her phone died she buried it in the backyard.
Just watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where she takes off the ring, walks back down the isle and drives away
My dwarf friend committed suicide recently… He jumped off a curb.
Just found out my Asian friend died last week… So Yung.