Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Homeless Guy

in Political Jokes
+21 -35

A cheeky homeless guy with a dog came up to me earlier today asking me for some money for food. I told him “If you were really hungry you would have eaten your dog by now.”

Cross The Road

in Dirty Jokes
+25 -39

Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put the wrong socks on this morning.

Fat Mama Bath

in Yo Mama Jokes
+20 -34

Yo mama is so fat she doesn’t have a bath she has a car wash.

Ungrateful Son

in Relationship Jokes
+8 -22

I can’t believe how ungrateful my 4 year old son is. I took him out for a ride on his sledge this morning but after 10 minutes I looked back and saw he was missing. It was lucky I had to stop for petrol otherwise I may not have noticed and it would have taken ages to drive back and find him.

Stay Safe

in General Jokes
+18 -32

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. That’s why I try and stay safe by eating 2 cakes per day.

Irish/Welsh farmer

in Racist Jokes
+54 -68

An irish farmer sees a welsh farmer carrying 2 sheep under his arms, and asks, “are you gonna shear them?
.”No”.says the Welshman..
.”they”re both for me”.