Shocking information has just been discovered that North Korea is developing weapons of mass destruction and we need to invade them.
…. Oh wait, false alarm, they don’t have any oil.
Are you mold?? Because you’re growing on me.
Q:Why did the cow cross the road?
A:To go to the moo-vies
Monsanto have just released a new genetically modified insect to help with weight loss. It’s a mosquito but instead of sucking blood it sucks out fat.
I like the smell of fish. *Silently stare at women for 20 seconds after saying this*
My new girlfriend is smoking hot. She joined ISIS recently and accidentally blew herself up 🙁