I’ve been slowly torturing a centipede for the past 98 days. It’s on its last legs now.
I used to smoke after sex but now I just use Vaseline.
Q. What’s the richest cheese in the world?
A. Paris Stilton
Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids.
Porn has ruined my life. I’m now too scared to order a pizza.
Ever hear of the Klu Klux Knieval? He tried to jump over 8 black dudes with a steamroller