Waking up to a surprise bj is great but not when you’re in prison.
Really love my 19th century gold pocket watch. My Jewish grandfather sold it to me on his deathbed.
They used to say ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’ but now most of the doctors are Muslim I find bacon works better.
The following conversation took place between a 3-year-old boy and his mum while having a bath.
Boy: ‘Mum are these round things between my legs my brains?’ Mum: ‘No not yet!’
My dwarf friend committed suicide recently… He jumped off a curb.
Me and my boyfriend made love for 3 hours last night. We did a role-play of a doctor and a patient. He made me stay in the waiting room for 2 hours 56 minutes.