Really love my 19th century gold pocket watch. My Jewish grandfather sold it to me on his deathbed.
A funeral was held today for the inventor of air conditioning. Thousands of fans attended.
The following conversation took place between a 3-year-old boy and his mum while having a bath.
Boy: ‘Mum are these round things between my legs my brains?’ Mum: ‘No not yet!’
They used to say ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’ but now most of the doctors are Muslim I find bacon works better.
Yo mama is so fat she got arrested at the airport for carrying 15 pounds of crack.
Why is Friday the most feminine day of the week?
Because it takes forever to come.