Porn has ruined my life. I’m now too scared to order a pizza.
Ever hear of the Klu Klux Knieval? He tried to jump over 8 black dudes with a steamroller
I used to smoke after sex but now I just use Vaseline.
What do you call a man who f*cks pigs? Willie-ham
My girlfriend keeps telling me to treat her like a princess so today I got her some expensive jewelry and then I decided to have her father executed for treason.
You look like I need another drink…