What do you call a pirate without a ship? A creative homeless guy.
Viagra won’t make you James Bond but it will make you Roger Moore.
Yo mama is so fat last time she went swimming in the sea some Japanese people tried to harpoon her.
Interviewer: Give me an example of a time you overcame a difficult situation. Me: I ran out of milk once when making cereal so I came up with the idea of using ice cream.
Yo mama is so stupid, every time she sees missed call on her mobile she searches her contacts for the name MISSED.
Q. How do you sink an Irish submarine? A. Knock on the hatch.