Knock knock. Who’s there? Dave. Dave who? *Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother’s Alzheimers is getting worse.*
Definition of Askhole – Someone who always asks for your advice but does the opposite of what you say.
Viagra won’t make you James Bond but it will make you Roger Moore.
What do you call a pirate without a ship? A creative homeless guy.
Yo mama is so fat last time she went swimming in the sea some Japanese people tried to harpoon her.
Interviewer: Give me an example of a time you overcame a difficult situation. Me: I ran out of milk once when making cereal so I came up with the idea of using ice cream.