I got thrown out of Barclays Bank today. I was trying to deposit £300,000 in cash but apparantly monopoly money is not a “real currency”!
I used to really hate my beard but then it grew on me.
What does santa have between his legs?
Ho-Ho-Hoes!
Hi, I think your shoelace is untied! (quickly position yourself behind)
Women are like parking spaces. Sometimes all the best ones are taken so the only choice you have is to stick it in the disabled.
The day homelessness will end is the day when the ‘Big Issue’ decides to start including pictures of tits.