I used to really hate my beard but then it grew on me.
What does santa have between his legs?
Ho-Ho-Hoes!
Hi, I think your shoelace is untied! (quickly position yourself behind)
I got thrown out of Barclays Bank today. I was trying to deposit £300,000 in cash but apparantly monopoly money is not a “real currency”!
The day homelessness will end is the day when the ‘Big Issue’ decides to start including pictures of tits.
Just signed a £250,000 per week contract to play for Manchester United.
I just need to get them to sign it now.