Happy treason day you ungrateful scumbag American traitors to the crown!!
God Save The Queen!
Can’t believe my wife. Tried to have sex with her in the dark last night. I put my wiener into her hand and she “No thanks I don’t want to smoke.”
Is you’re name L’Oreal? Because you’re worth it.
Don’t waste money on an electric toothbrush. Simply sellotape a manual toothbrush to your iPhone and set it to vibrate, then get your mum to call you every time you need to brush your teeth.
Did you hear about the police raid of a library in Bucharest?
My friend Gav died from heartburn this morning.
I can’t believe Gaviscon.