Just started a new job at a can recycling factory.
It’s soda pressing.
Fed up of airport security. Just got stopped for carrying a bottle of water but a guy with a long beard and Turban went through straight away.
Yo mama is so ugly the only time she gets love is when she plays tennis.
I haven’t had sex for about 1 year, 4 months, 24 days and 56 minutes. It doesn’t bother me though.
Why did the ‘hare’ cross the road?
To avoid being surgically attached to Wayne Rooney’s scalp.
Met a really cool 13 year old on-line the other day, she’s funny and really attractive. I suggested we meet up for a drink and then she told me she has a job as a private detective. Got to be the coolest 13 year old ever.