Just be fired from my job as a teacher.
Apparently LGBT+ doesn’t stand for leprosy, gonorrhea, bacteria, tuberculosis +AIDS.
I don’t understand why people are always complaining about Presidents. Kings rule over Kingdoms, Emperors rule over Empires and C*nts rule over Countries. The secret is in the name.
Went to the barbers today and had a no. 2. At first it just seemed like a fart but I ended up following through.
Why do butterflies always get blamed for hurricanes? I personally think it’s all these fidget spinners.
F*ck the ships!!
My lighthouse, my rules.
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds?
A. Half a spider!