Fed up of airport security. Just got stopped for carrying a bottle of water but a guy with a long beard and Turban went through straight away.
Yo mama is so ugly the only time she gets love is when she plays tennis.
Roses are red Violets are blue Love me today Or I Kill you.
Some people say pot smokers are lazy. I disagree. I’m a multitasking pot smoker. Just the other day I was walking down the street, smoking, talking on my cellphone and getting hit by a car all at the same time.
Today my wife told me that I need to be more spontaneous so I punched her in the throat.
The following conversation took place in Vienna, Austria 200 years ago on this very day.
Mozart’s Friend: Wolfgang Mozart!! Mozart: What?
They were then both eaten by a gang of wolves. RIP Mozart.