Last year my wife was furious that I missed her birthday, and insisted that in future I should plan at least two months in advance. Well it’s her birthday in 8 weeks time, and I’m pleased to say I’ve already bought her her present. She’s going to love these flowers.
Paddy won the lottery, 22 million, He went to collect his winnings and they said, Really sorry Paddy but we haven’t got enough money to pay you it all. We will give you 11 million this week and 11 million next week, Ah be Jesus says paddy. If your gonna mess me about gimme me pound back.
I found out last night that alcohol is no substitute for a woman. After 3 hours in intensive care the doctors finally managed to remove my c*ck from my bottle of Budweiser.