Have you heard about the latest apple product?
It’s green and it goes in your mouth… It’s called a ‘Granny Smith’.
Yo mama is so stupid that when she was making French toast she got her tongue stuck in the toaster.
A drunk a priest and a pedofile walk into a bar….. that was just the first person!
You: “Have you ever blown bubbles as a kid?” Him: “Yes” You: “Well he’s back in town and he wants your phone number”
To make a relationship work you need to make a lot of sacrifices which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden.
There once was a guy from Capri, who tried to pee over a tree , he peed so high it fell in his eye, now the poor c*nt cant see.