Just seen Simon Cowell drowning in my local swimming pool so I saved him ……….. as my profile picture on facebook.
Got a really upset my stomach at the moment and just farted in my local supermarket. Luckily I was standing in the cheese isle at the so nobody noticed.
Man: How u doin? Woman: Fine Man: I said how u doin not how u looking!
Pissing in the kitchen sink saves so much time. Although some of my coworkers at McDonalds are starting to really freak out.
Just been sacked from my job as a chef for stealing.
I’ve always been whisk taker.
Q: What’s the difference between an elevator and a black man? A: An elevator can raise a family