You: “Have you ever blown bubbles as a kid?” Him: “Yes” You: “Well he’s back in town and he wants your phone number”
Yo mama is so stupid that when she was making French toast she got her tongue stuck in the toaster.
A drunk a priest and a pedofile walk into a bar….. that was just the first person!
To make a relationship work you need to make a lot of sacrifices which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden.
There once was a guy from Capri, who tried to pee over a tree , he peed so high it fell in his eye, now the poor c*nt cant see.
What’s a vampires favorite fruit? A nectarine.