If my grandmother ever found out how much I spent on her funeral. She would be spinning in her ditch.
Hey babe, I’m a real ladies man. I’ve been down more holes than Tiger Woods.
Just had some people knock on my door trying to convince me that ‘brown bread’ is better than ‘white bread’.
They told me they were hovis witness.
What’s the diferrence between a rat and an immigrant?
Rats find it easier to get jobs in politics or to become lawyers.
Most of the time a problem shared is a problem halved unless the problem happens to be Aids.
The following conversation took place at the vets.
Man: Do you sell horse tranquilizers? Vet: Why do you ask? Man: My wife keeps waking up.