Just finished masturbating under the sheet. I hope the dentist didn’t notice.
Just got a $20 voucher for my birthday. Why not just give me a $20 note so I can spend it anywhere without restrictions?
Someone at work accused me of being gay today. The last person to question my masculinity got a face-full of piping hot lavender tea.
Yo mama has one eye and one leg, her name is eyelean.
What did they used to call electric eels before electricity was invented? Magic eels?
Yo mama is so fat she lost her virginity to a Snickers candy bar.