My daughter was born yesterday. I named her after my mother-in-law, she’s called ‘passive-aggressive psycho’.
What’s the only thing Jim couldn’t fix?………your daughter’s hymen
The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.
Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe! Doctor: You can’t be serious!!
Just drove to work in a £200,000 vehicle. I love catching the bus.
I always go to clothes stores and they always say they don’t have my size. I mean, does nobody know what extra medium is???
I’d rather see a pregnant woman standing on the bus than a fat girl sitting down crying.