I ran out of money to pay a prostitute the other day, luckily I had a shovel.
Yo mama is so fat instead of wearing earrings she wears onion rings.
Hi I’m blind… can I read your t-shirt in braille?
Alpha Male Chat-Up Line:
Get your coat love ….. …I’ve got a knife
Someone wrote “mong” on my car windshield last night.
It took me ages to lick it off.
It’s a disgrace that the UK has recently lost its AAA credit rating. Just because our main export is Walkers Crisps and half the population is on unemployment benefits doesn’t mean we have a weak economy.