The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.
Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe! Doctor: You can’t be serious!!
Have you heard about those new mobile phones for deaf people? They’re called ‘eye-phones’.
Just joined alcoholics anonymous. I still drink large amounts of alcohol but now I’ve got a new name and passport.
Go up to a girl, hug her then say
“WE’LL BE WITH ALLAH SOON…….ALLAHU AKBAR!”
I’m so bad with women I can’t even get them to take their gloves off.
Q. What do homeless people look at when they’re on a computer? A. The recycle bin.