I bought my son a puppy for Christmas, but I’ve just accidentally killed him with my car as I reversed onto the drive. Oh well, I’ll have to look after the puppy myself now.
I’ve never seen my dad hit my mum. His left jab is lightening fast.
Can’t believe how awesome my new pet goldfish is. Just found out that if you put it on the carpet it can actually do break dancing.
Q. Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a boner?
A. I don’t have a Ferrari.
How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her she can’t make you a sandwich.
What do you call some who doesn‘t like standing in a lift with germans? Klausrtophic.