Q. What’s the only living organ inside a corpse? A. My dick
I was at the doctor’s the other day having a prostate exam when he said, “Oh my God!”
“What is it, Doctor?” I asked, mildly shitting myself.
“You’ve mildly shat yourself,” he replied.
Why do Jews put double glazing on their houses? So their kids can’t hear the ice-cream man.
Why does nobody care when you take a child swimming but when you take a chimpanzee everyone freaks out?
Q: What do whales like on their toast? A: I can’t believe it’s not blubber!
Just had an interview at Hooters. All they did was say “fill this out” and then they handed me an extra large bra to wear.