Me: Can I have a shag? Girl: No! Me: Wait! I don’t think you heard me correctly… Girl: Oh, I think I did… Me: Fine then, what did I say? Girl: “Can I have a shag?”
And that, Your Honour, is why it wasn’t raype.
What animal has sharp teeth and 5 legs?
A pit bull in a playground.
Are your legs like flora ? because I would totally love to spread them.
My Chinese friend recently told me he smuggles large amounts of cheap alcohol from China. Apparently it’s a ‘whiskey’ business.
I’ve started my new job as a settee salesman today…
Sofa so good.
My son saw me in the shower the other day and said “what’s that hairy thing in between your legs?”. I replied “That’s the back of your sister’s head”.