Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Fighting

in General Jokes
+124 -34

The following conversation happened after calling the police.

Police: What’s your emergency?
Me: Two girls are fighting over me.
Police: OK and what’s the problem?
Me: The fat one is winning!

Coldest Winter

in Political Jokes
+147 -57

This year has seen the coldest winter since records began for countries in the northern hemisphere. It’s been so cold that numerous politicians have actually been seen with their hands in their own pockets.

Ebay

in Dirty Jokes
+155 -65

Can’t believe what a rip-off Ebay is. Just wasted $120 on a penis enlarger. This guy just sent me a magnifying glass and a piece of paper that said “Do not use in sunlight”.

Call Me Immature

in General Jokes
+162 -73

Some people call me immature but I just recently finished a 700 page book in only 4 days. I really love coloring in.

Gym

in Sports Jokes
+200 -111

My first day back at the gym today went well. I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and then 3 days in the hospital.

Sign

in Dirty Jokes
+144 -56

Just seen a sign that made me sh*t myself…
It said “Bathroom closed”.