Yo mama is so ugly, even cillit wouldn’t bang her
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
Some people are ridiculous. There are 363 days left till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up.
Just quit my job at the mosque. All they care about is profits.
The following conversation took place in an Irish bar.
Paddy: How much is your beer? Barman: £3 a pint or £8 a pitcher. Paddy: I’ll just have a pint, f*ck the photo!
I heard on the radio today that a warlord in Afghanistan has purchased over 3 million poppies. It’s great to see Islamic military leaders showing their respect to the British Armed Forces.