Why did the blond girl have a bruised belly button?
Because her husband was a blond too!
I used to think I was telepathic with the ability to hear people’s thoughts but today my psychiatrist told me I have schizophrenia.
How do you starve a black person?
Hide their welfare check under their work boots.
The first ever tablet to download data from the cloud was actually invented by Moses in 1300 BC.
Just discovered I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.
They say opposites attract, try telling that to my short ugly girlfriend.